I learnt that life could move on

I sided with the joyous ones

I played with with recalcitrants 

I muffle my sorrows now

I look out for the sunny days!

Parochial - Paro-Chia-l - Well know Indian name, a plant , and L(Last Man Standing). I got to get the parochial blinders of me out, the lock,stock, and barrel aptitude. I’ve very much spread the apocryphal notion that I can surmount any obstacle. The inchoate version of this study is just taking shape.My jejune mind has yet to grasp, still feeling pusillanimous , enervated , and downrightly craven. The undertaking is turning piquant, just like a scrabble game , although some part of me wants to be insouciant, and to leave it to the dogs.To that my inner voce said, what arrant nonsense ! its heresy I say, wake up and do some tilling. Indeed the other side says to bother the fallow mind, let is rest , innervate some neurons, and don’t let these fatuous arguments incline you to do stupid things.

My sanguine self , don’t worry, you won’t get blighted , the summer season is neigh , and we’ll have fun. This inveterate laziness is going to get booted, and a prodigious self will emerge

The cat jumped on the bed , made it way towards the pillow, and sat next to the pillow as it licked it paws. Gordon still in his slumber had no inkling of his pet sharing the bed, he mildly snored which seemed like pleasant to the cat. Half of the comforter lay on the floor, the flower designs looked undulated on it, and had the purple crocs partially covered. The clock on the side table showed 4:45 , it was too early for Gordon to wake-up , but he wanted to start early to do something productive 

The cat sprung out of the bed and went to the living room. The living rom was lightly lit as the day broke, he tossed on his bed , had a firm grip on his pillow now, still seemed to be lost in some ethereal dream , he smiled a little. Seemed quite propitiate as he lay there, the alarm broke the silence , it started a horrid expression. He jumped and sat there looking at the wall on his side, a painting of a women hung there, she stood precariously on a cliff with a black dress draping , and touching the black rock. The day had started for him , he looked around for some inspiration , but the daunting day stood ahead of him like an intractable kid. Anyway, he didn’t have much choice, and had resolved that he won’t waste time, he’ll focus and get things done. The thought of giving the cat away crossed his mind again, it made him very morose , he petted the cat while deeply reflecting on the outcomes.  

Time was clicking by, he got into shower and popped out immediately , he skipped shave today as he examined by running his palms over his short , spiny beard, it passed the test and had to go unshaven. He ate a slice of bread with mayo and jelly , one of his foibles  , hard to escape. 

He ran downstairs as he had to catch the 8am metro to downtown, the old cabal factory , bunch of old armenian men hung out by the coffee shop, as usual murmuring when I passed by, I didn’t blink and exchanged my usual few words in armenian saying ‘old indolent bastards’ , of course with some accent, some of them in the group dressed quite foppishly , and had a florid complexion, probably because of sun burn I suppose. After exchanging the calumny, I rushed to underground, there were men volleying abusive stuff , there were kids remonstrating , there were flak coming down the wireless phones, small kids getting upbraided , amidst all this, I scooted to catch my no 42 , it all seemed like a big rabble rather itinerant.

After the hustle bustle, he reached by 9 am, observing , studying, listening to music, reading etc, as he walked inside the receptionist was practicing her encomium on my boss , I walked past , said ‘hello’, and got to my desk, things are always gloomy here, I get lot of flak for being reticent, but I’ve stopped being bellicose, I take the reproach with salt and let my mind play with the quixotic self which elicits some remote joy out of this whole ridiculous office culture. Next to him sat Charles , the eternal quibbler , I should say, the lustrous , blasphemous quibbler , on the phone only, when you face him , he becomes flustered and uncommunicative , but in my dictionary he is complete reprobate. I wished I could force Charles to recant his whole foggy character. His outrageous effrontery drives me nuts , his relentless cant is justly mindless , steadily  accreting , abstruse in nature , and best of all his pretension is nothing but faux verisimilitude 

Take two” he said. 

“well, good ridden, history escapes me ! I dare not speak ill”

Afternoon 2pm, the black jeep came to a stop in front of the post office, it jolted as the driver shut the engine off. A lady stepped out, she lugged a big white khaki bag , it seemed to be stuffed with while swollen envelopes , one the one which stood tall, it read ’ Great White Labs’. She wore an embroidered white laced hang on top of a white blouse, the grey bra strap parted way next to her supple neck, a red lipstick laid too dark and sunglasses were still resting on her well braided hair. She walked towards the door , a mild breeze pushed a dray maple leaf close to her heels as she was about to place her right feet on the stairs, then the left feet gently pressed it .

2 hours before - ‘Whats wrong Pete?” Your rather innate rant, it upsets me, it feels as if I’m being labeled as obdurate , I’ve to beg for respect, its quite awkward to sustain this demeanor. 

To give a background, the intricate self of Pete is all but hidden, it never rears its face, he presents a lively side , the affable side , you would ask why ? The Drs would say its to compensate for rejection , or from fear of being alienated. 

Advice is not always salubrious. Let me try to explain why ? Every human being mostly feels good about having a listener, yes a listener ! You can go on and on about how your life experiences have shaped you, gave you insights, taught you tricks , and made you smart . And, of course,  your chiseled brazen face doesn’t belie either , and that scar on your forehead accentuates it. The listener on the other side , sitting on the proverbial step of insanity is looking for a short-cut, he/she doesn’t have time or the money to drive through life’s tortuous highways, he needs to get their now and it ought to be fast.

(its easy to sound chauvinistic by using ‘he’ , let me justify that by saying ‘he’ is 2 keys, ‘she’ is 3 keys - I want to be the listener)

Now, lets introspect the speaker, his life hasn’t been the idyllic as your brain is imagining, as a child he was pusillanimous  , he often got into fights with his classmates because they all labelled him uncommunicative and terse. He knew that what the other kids were saying was correct , but his intractable heart was not ready to accept , he somehow believed that one day the weakness will disappear and a strong self will emerge. Later, it was concluded that fighting spirit was ephemeral and soon the sports will take over 

There is a certain way to approach an argument, not to be forceful but to be soft spoken and mild mannered. 

You’ve to work hard at it. “why not ?, you’ve to work hard !” As simple as it sounds , it is true indeed. The hoary gentlemen would attest to that as most of them have lived to tell that it does work.

In a country where handwork is glorified and countlessly chanted to be the freedom giver from poverty, it has become cornerstone to the immigrants who have made this their home.

Men do act impetuously sometimes which they’ve come to regret, and thats the reason for being impatient ,incoherent and not cogent. It is sort of taking a short-cut to a healthy conversation, one becomes too cozy with the freedom to say whatever one fancies at that time and be adherent to that without thinking about the reasoning or the validity of what they just said.Lot of arguments do start like this and make us look not so trenchant.

So, how about for a change try this,  listen and listen, and construct your reply after you imbue the speaker’s conversation, and have understood the context to some extent.

Virulent they say, I say blasphemy , the path to life is not that hard, it is the perception and the the feeling towards it which causes most of the heartburn. We humans try to visualize , slice and dice the upcoming engagements, challenges with a wild imagination which mostly leans towards dire outcomes . Urbane manners of some are very deceitful ,their actions may seem unfeigned , but its fraught with selfish intents. Is it a surprise, not really, the terse affection is much more prevalent intra relations

Lauded with a loquacious tone , was I surprised ? Of course not, the ruffling of feathers continued , the onerous journey of self, always the sight of it being odious . The occlusion worked to a certain extent , but to obviate the unknown was like shooting in dark, the inert self never raised its wings , like a child’s inchoate mind, it seeped in more than it could give, implacable soul with immutable face, and with an impassive face. Now, that’s a load to furnish, let me give it straight.

Michelle was born chest, excelled at unfathomable hyperbole , exhibited hubris at all occasions , a community iconoclast , showed intense idolatrous affection to the Meredith monks, outcried hedonism of town elects, and a fervent spokesperson for artisan bread.

The fortuitous landing of librarian job was boon to her psyche which was getting fulminated by villagers, although facetious in nature, it was demeaning , affronting . By now the town had stopped being exigent to the building of new park - they instead focused on quality of teachers,the fervor evanescent now, no one to exculpate, even the town sheriff took a leave of absence , no one could stand the garrulous Michelle. She did not care.

In situations where anger is on the verge of getting expunged , and you are getting to some written correspondence, withdraw , relax , occupy yourself with something tangential no matter how erudite you are.One thing to keep in mind is that the quality of inner calm composure and calibrated response is very endemic, and is ephemeral to hoi polloi like us.It is taught to us in a harsh way , the anger or should I say the ennui has various forms of escape or letting itself out, we don’t clearly know what we been harboring , the enigmatic composition of our inner reactions is difficult to grasp,

You lead your life desiccating the essence of life, deriding the frail fabric of courage,all in the quest to disabuse your moral compass.

The didactic handout which you got from your institution is of little use because by the time you recognized you had wings, you started to demur , you started to exhibit effrontery , your freedom independent diatribe getting more vocal, your friends appealing cogently , your wandering mind getting more capricious which is acceptable to you , you show off your eclectic gatherings , and in a true warrior fashion is at the acme of life.

I say ride it as it might be leaving some tidbits behind, try to pick it up along the way otherwise the tracks get muddled very soon.